Emperor Vibrating Dong
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Having sex with an emperor is definitely something to brag about. Even after living so many years on earth, your Over the Hill friend probably hasn't had sex with an emperor. The thing is, emperors are getting harder and harder to find, so your best bet is to gift her with the Vibrating Emperor Dong. She'll appreciate the thought. Maybe next you can get her the Priest Dong, since she (hopefully) hasn't had sex with one of those either.
The Vibrating Emperor Dong is actually a very nice vibrating dong. This vibrator has the look and feel of a real penis, complete with texture, veins, ridged head and balls. The Vibrating Emperor Dong has a suction cup base that you can attach to any smooth surface. The Emperor Dong has an insertable length of six inches, and is very girthy at 1.75 inches across.
The Vibrating Emperor Dong features a wired controller, with multiple speeds of vibration. This is a fairly powerful vibrator. It takes 2 AA batteries.