Over the Hill Birthday Toasts
Celebrate your Over the Hill birthday boy or girl with these hilarious toasts. Memorize your favorites and announce them when the drinks start flowing.
- Over the Hill Birthday Toasts
- A free party idea from OverTheHill.com
- There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn
- To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch
- Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative. - Maurice Chevalier
- Of late I appear
To have reached that stage
When people who look old
Who are only my age.
- A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost
- Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - C.E.M. Joad
- Let us respect gray hairs, especially our own. - J.P. Sears
- Age is a high price to pay for maturity. - Tom Stoppard
- Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. - Larry Lorenzoni
- Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirtty. - Robert Frost
- You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. - Bob Hope
- As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. - Norman Wisdom
- The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. - Lucille Ball
- When a man has a birthday he takes the day off. But when a woman has a birthday, she takes a year or two off. - Anonymous
- You’re over the hill when your back goes out more than you do. - Anonymous
- Dr. Seuss on the Golden Years:
I cannot see,
I cannot pee,
I cannot chew,
I cannot screw,
My memory shrinks,
My Hearing stinks,
No sense of smell,
I look like hell,
My body’s drooping,
Have trouble pooping,
The golden years have come at last,
The golden years can kiss my ass!
- Birthdays come and birthdays go
And with each passing year, we grow.
It’s best if growth is in the mind
But too often we find it on the behind.
- Another candle on your cake
But there’s no need to pout
Just be glad you’ve got the strength
To blow the damn thing out!
- To your birthday, glass held high,
Glad it’s you that’s older and not I!