Over the Hill Birthday Toasts

Executive Summary
Celebrate your Over the Hill birthday boy or girl with these hilarious toasts. Memorize your favorites and announce them when the drinks start flowing.

Quick Facts
  • Over the Hill Birthday Toasts
  • A free party idea from OverTheHill.com

Page Description
  • There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn
  • To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch
  • Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative. - Maurice Chevalier
  • Of late I appear
    To have reached that stage
    When people who look old
    Who are only my age.
    -Richard Armour
  • A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost
  • Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - C.E.M. Joad
  • Let us respect gray hairs, especially our own. - J.P. Sears
  • Age is a high price to pay for maturity. - Tom Stoppard
  • Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. - Larry Lorenzoni
  • Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirtty. - Robert Frost
  • You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. - Bob Hope
  • As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. - Norman Wisdom
  • The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. - Lucille Ball
  • When a man has a birthday he takes the day off. But when a woman has a birthday, she takes a year or two off. - Anonymous
  • You’re over the hill when your back goes out more than you do. - Anonymous
  • Dr. Seuss on the Golden Years:
    I cannot see,
    I cannot pee,
    I cannot chew,
    I cannot screw,
    My memory shrinks,
    My Hearing stinks,
    No sense of smell,
    I look like hell,
    My body’s drooping,
    Have trouble pooping,
    The golden years have come at last,
    The golden years can kiss my ass!
  • Birthdays come and birthdays go
    And with each passing year, we grow.
    It’s best if growth is in the mind
    But too often we find it on the behind.
  • Another candle on your cake
    But there’s no need to pout
    Just be glad you’ve got the strength
    To blow the damn thing out!
  • To your birthday, glass held high,
    Glad it’s you that’s older and not I!