Money Toilet Paper

Over The Hill

$5.99 $7.99
You save 25%
SKU: OH74300
Shipping Weight = (4.8)oz.
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The Money Toilet Paper roll from allows you to wipe your ass with hundred dollar bills, just like you always wanted to.
Hot facts
  • Money Toilet Paper
  • Standard sized roll of toilet paper
  • Features images of hundred dollar bills

  • Item Description
    So, you’ve passed over the threshold of being over the hill; you’re officially an “old person” now. And it’s everything everyone ever promised you it would be, isn’t it? You can never remember where you put anything, your back creaks when you walk, and you have an inexplicable urge to yell at kids to get off your lawn, even when there are no kids on it. But all these aches and pains and psychological oddities are worth it, because all the years have gotten you to the point where you can literally wipe your ass with hundred dollar bills. ... What’s that? You can’t? Well, it must be because you just didn’t work hard enough. Certainly couldn’t be anything to do with the past few decades’ stock market crashes, collapsing housing markets, politicians’ questionable economic policies, or anything like that... Nope. It’s definitely all your own fault that you don’t get to enjoy the fabulous riches that are every truly hard-working capitalist citizen’s reward when they reach retirement age. Well, we sure do feel sorry for you, but we can’t exactly fix your unexpected lack of ass-wiping Benjamins for you. That would be a handout, after all, which is not going to help teach you to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps for the remaining portion of your life. But, tell you what we’ll do instead: we’ll sell you a roll of Money Toilet Paper. This toilet paper has fairly detailed images of hundred dollar bills printed on it, so you’ll get as close to that coveted capitalist experience as you can. And who knows, maybe it’ll motivate your children or grandchildren to work hard enough so that they can wipe their asses with real hundreds instead of this (admittedly high-quality) reproduction. One regular-sized roll of toilet paper.